StoryCorps at SHC: Sherri Hawley, Gary Kecskes, & Cindy Kecskes

Gary Kecskes (GK): Amanda was born on August 22nd, 1976 in Redlands, California.

Sherri Hawley (SH): Our daughter, from the time she was very little, I noticed how much she really admired the little things in life, watching bugs or playing with dogs or animals. She was always attuned to God's wonders out there in this world. She was always very strong-willed. I saw it as a hindrance when she was little. As she got older and older, I realized that her strong-will was what was going to get her through life.

GK: She was never married, but she did have two sons that she loved very much. She became a prison guard in Adelanto for about five years. After that she decided she wanted to go to RT school, respiratory therapy school. That's when she really decided in her life that she wanted to do something more.

SH: Help others.

GK: Yeah.

Cindy Kecskes (CK): I remember the first time I saw Amanda, Gary and I worked at the same grocery store, and he brought her in. She was just this tiny little three-year-old girl. I couldn't believe what a darling she was. It wasn't until a few years later that Gary and I actually got together, and then I got to know her. Not having a daughter of my own, she was my daughter. It was a pleasure to be her stepmom for over 40 years. Becoming a respiratory therapist, that's what grounded her. It was at that point that she just kind of came together as this adult woman who took care of things. It was really nice to watch her grow into that person.

GK: One day she called me and said she wanted to be a traveler, basically a temp that would go to different hospitals on three-month contracts. Her first three-month contract was actually at Stanford Tri-Valley in Pleasanton. After that, she went to a small hospital down in Calexico. This was during the really bad time of COVID. That really made an impact on her seeing people in really bad shape. She spent three months down there and she went to Sitka, Alaska for three months. While she was there, her supervisor from Stanford asked her if she would be interested in coming back.

SH: She had a compassion for people. When she went to work for Stanford, she really ended up being an advocate for her patients and the people she loved. I also work in the medical field, and so I was so proud of the fact that Amanda kind of followed in my footsteps that way because I knew she had the heart for it. When they said that they were going to do this celebration of life at Stanford for Amanda, I asked if we could all come. They said, "Of course." They asked us what we would like for them to do to honor Amanda. I told them that it's not about us. We will see your celebration for her. Well, that celebration was inspiring, helpful, and opened our eyes to what a wonderful patient advocate Amanda had turned out to be. Not only did the people in the hospital turn up, people from the community came in too. There were so many stories about how she had touched so many lives and others attributed Amanda to saving their loved one's life.

GK: We've met so many of her coworkers. I don't remember all of them by name, but there's a lady there. Her name was Sharon. Her husband was actually in the hospital. Amanda and Sharon and her husband ended up bonding, and after he got out of the hospital, they would occasionally get together for lunch. From what Sharon said, Amanda had planned on making Thanksgiving dinner for them this past Thanksgiving. She wasn't actually able to do that because she passed away too early, but that was her.

CK: To see the family that she had become a part of there and to see how they embraced us, it was just a wonderful experience to see how well she was loved. It's hard every day.

GK: It hasn't gotten easier yet. It's hard thinking that she's not here anymore.

SH: Yeah. But she's touched so many. We have all those wonderful memories, and we were very proud to be her parents.

Produced by Stanford Health Care with interviews recorded in collaboration with StoryCorps, a national nonprofit whose mission is to preserve and share humanity's stories in order to build connections between people and create a more just and compassionate world www.storycorps.org

Sound Editor: Emily Hsiao

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